Why U2 makes my hand hurt.

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching I think about how lucky I am to have my wife and what an awesome relationship we have. I also cringe when I think about the relationships that came before this one.

I was in 10th grade and I was going out with this girl, let’s call her Jenny. We had been going out for a couple of weeks when I got a new U2 album. It may have been Rattle and Hum, but I can’t remember. I was making a copy of the tape for Jenny as we talked on the phone (teenage puppy love phone conversations are the worse).

Jenny: Whatcha doin?

Me: Making you a copy of the righteous new U2 tape.

Jenny: Cool!

Me: Yup, I’m even writing the song titles down for you.

Jenny: That’s awesome! Does it have, like, the lyrics to?

Me: Of course, u2 albums always have lyrics.

Jenny: I wish I could get the lyrics somehow …

Me: Well, goodnight.

[The conversation continues for a little while and ends with the no you hang up first ritual. That sound you hear now is me throwing up in my mouth a little.]

Yes, I stayed up half the night copying the lyrics down on loose leaf paper for her. The next day, half zombified from sleep deprivation I handed Jenny the tape with my hand written lyrics. She was excited and said I was, like, awesome.

A couple weeks later she dumped me. Now I can’t listen to U2 without my hands cramping up.

So as Valentine’s Day approaches we should all thank the little fat guy with wings for the love we have in our lives. And if you feel so inclined you may want to exercise the demons of past relationships in the comments below. It will make you feel good, I promise. I’m listening to Hawkmoon 269 right now and my hand hardly hurts at all.